Do Clowns Have Sex Appeal? Yeah...

It came to my attention lately that some people in the liberal media are claiming that Clowns are not perceived as 'sexy'. Well, yo, I straight up disagrree with that assumption. Firstly, let my state that Clowns, or as they are known 'Clownz' in the more hip-communities such as Williamsberger or otherworld, are very sensual creatures. In the early 19th century, a man named John Clown decided that the way to the heart of women was via a transformation that involved make-up. I'm serious, yo, the clown nose, the face, the white skin -- think about it? Does it remind you of something'? Perhaps a GEISHIA? Yes, a GEISHIA of sorts, indeed. Clowns are essentially Male GEISHIA and are part of a seductive dance of sensuality. John Clown went on to be known as Cassanova, and other terms -- a urban legend that is based in 100% reality.

Now, I say this because people have been extremely critical that me hiding behind the make up to play 'DA JOKER 2' was a misstep. They said " 'Troy' why would you hide your sensual qualities behnd all dat make-up. We can barely see your smiling face" I looked them into the eye and said "Exactly, thats it. Now move along" I said, quite awesome if you ask me!!!

So as the clowns say "UHGH, YOU KNOW IT!"

Signed,

'Troy'

Nike DUNK x Whatistroy Preview.

I am going to get in mad trouble for posting these! Nike is working with me on these kicks for Winter. They will tie in with the TROY: LESSONS OF THE HEART epic feature film. Sorry in advance if I'm not suposed to post these protos, Nike! Hopefully they will look a little tighter(these are painted protoz), if you will, when they arrive in limited quantities.

'Troy'

DARK KNIGHT SET PHOTOS! SPOILER ALERT

Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is in for it. Looks like DA
JOKER 2 ('Troy') might just have the the last laugh! [c. wb 2007]

I know this is going to be removed soon by the POWERZ that be, but I had to show y'all. Yes, I was in Dark Knight Returns, and yes Christopher Nolan specifically wanted me to play 'DA JOKER 2'. Thats right, I was the guy who faked being the Joker, but WARNER BROS thought that I was going to overshadow Heath Ledge. I don't disagree with them. I'm sending you this still of me, THE ACTUAL still that they are now showing with HEATH in MY ROLE. I say thee nay, WB. Why throw away your franchise, because you're affraid I will OUTSHINE IT?

Signed, 'Troy'

Carries Boob Shape Altered for SITC:TM?

PARISFILMFAN.COM is reporting that Carries boobs may be shaped differently for the Sex In The City Movie!!! Yes, possibly cones or triangles. According to the site, there will be a side-story wherein Carrie has to compare her boobs to those of someone 2 years younger. Apparently, Carrie feels that her boobs are still fab, but blogs are saying otherwise. NOT THIS ONE CARRIE!!! The BLOGOSPHERE IS ON FIRE ALL OF YOU ALL!!!!!!!


THis is going to be the BREAST movie ever. HEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHE.

'Troy'

Samantha Ressurected In SITC Movie?

Friends. I just finished reading a working draft, a new one that my boy hooked me up with. So, the Samantha story is pretty deep. I know many of you like her, because she speaks like a cat, and is full of sexual appeals. It's cool -- I think she is all that, not more. Well, for those of you who can't get enough 'all spark' on her, here is some good wordz:

Samantha is resurrected into a feline for a fantasy sequence in the Sex In The City Movie! Carrie Bradshaw, now working for Mista Bigg main lines pure meth and starts to dream about a cafe' in Paris she visited with the Russian dancer dog. Well, he was a dog, that is for sure. Well, the cafe is tres chic and all that. She remembers having baguettes full of umbrellas and wearing a uber cute Leus Croix Berret in fauna green. In her dream, she is naked except for a photograph of her as a younger gal, she looked more different then. This sequence is described as 'Fellini-esque' in the script. Carrie wanders the streets, and she is accompanied only by a kitten. A small kitten that purrrrrrs...well, the cat purrrs and is horny for some sex! Yes, she likes to do it! Carrie realizes, in her meth'ed out state that this cat is Samantha...or is it???

Not to drop too many spoilers, but Chris Noth morphs at least ounce in the film, as ILM is working on something called 'GREEN SCREEN' for those of you who aren't into movies, this is what is used when people want to make morphing effects. The most highly evolved version can be seen in the Michael Jackson Black or White Video. Well, I think Carrie Bradshaw is going to morph....on the inside. Life lessons y'all.

- 'Troy'

SEX IN THE CITY THE MOVIE, MORE SPOILERS.

I was lunching at The Ivy Store eating lunch. A friend of mine, the same fellow who got me the SITC:TM script had some more dirt. I was like 'whoa, for real?' Anyway, he pulled out a script -- a new script, version 2. I was excited. There was more here.

First, some updates.

Noth is called 'Mista Big' by Samantha who starts to try and be more up-to-date. At one point Carrie calls Samantha 'Da Queen' and she keeps that moniker for half the film. Noth will definitely feature some meat, but more importantly, he has a new gig : publisher of the New York Times.

Mista Big will try and 'give carrie' a new job, writing a column about how being fab is out of date, the article will be called 'Sad In The City'. Has big become a heathen?

It's possible that Carrie will become the focal point for a man-off featuring her former loves, including Ron Livingston and the guy from My Big Fat Wedding. There is a cheeky scene which describes Carrie having a TB induced hallucination wherein she sees the men fighting for her like gladiators with laser guns. It's something that would have been too expensive to pull of on TV, but now it's on the big screen. The sequence might also feature cameos from other Carrie men.

Miranda is now President of 'Oil Corp NY'. She has just negotiated a deal that will net the company millions in dividends, but at what cost? The deal will allow 'Oil Corp' to dump toxic chemicals into Manhatten Water! Miranda is being portrayed as one who 'lost her way'. She is described as having 'all that, and a sense of style to boot' in the footnotes.

I see where this is going, the story is about redepmtion. How can four girls come back together and wave their fab flags? How indeed. I'm excited to get back to the script. More later, mon feinds yo.

'Troy'

MORE SEX IN THE CITY, MR.BIG, CHRIS NOTH IN FILM,?

Hi fans. So, I've been able to snatch a few more looks at the 'Sex In The City' movie script. It's all on the DL for y'all out there. If you've read my previous posts, you know things are all crazy in the Sex world. Many of you are e-mailing me desperate to know the status of Mr.Big aka Chris Noth in the film. YES, HE DOES APPEAR. I have confirmed this. I have also confirmed my second most important e-mail question, DOES HIS BEEF MAKE A CAMEO? Well, I think so.

See, for those of you who have the courage to watch Sex in the City, the show, which is this generations Woodstock, a revolutionary tale of power and sex in the city, a monster of counterculture throughout the 1990s. For those of you who have the 'ganas' to do so, you know the improtance of BIG aka Mista Noth up in the mix. Well, one of the clues, the pandoras box of the show was weather or not Mr.Big was called Mr.Big because of a heavy weighted cock and ball. Many have speculated, and many blogs and on-line resources are dedicated to it. See, the writers of SEX laid clues throughout all episodes, not unlike the Davinci Code.

In the script, there is a shot described as 'Rory's First Kiss' as a joke on the Dark Knight pseudonym. Well, this shot is a dolly pan of a 'taught peice of skin, with coarse hairs poking out'. This shot pulls back slowly to reavel 1/4 of a ballsack hanging from 'a fabulously silky pair of gucci breifs, brizo breifs' . It is my assumption that this shot SETS OFF THE FILMS SECOND ARC AND LEADS TO A REVEAL OF NOTHS MEMBER. I believe part of the suspense will be the mystery of Bigs nuts, balls, etc.

Well, I'm so tired, y'all. I filmed a sequence today where I had to fight a dear friend, and possibly lose one all in the same. Damn, this film is hell of sad, you all.

'Troy'

MORE SEX AND THE CITY SCRIPT SPOILERS!

Your boy 'Troy' here. More notes from the Sex and the City movie script I got a glimpse at. Well, Y'all wondering what happened to your gurl Samantha?

Well, When Carrie recovers from her horny dream, she realizes that lifes foibles are what defines 'us'. She sits at her APPLE G5 specially designed for the film, featuring a cutout of Carries face that glows, and 'narrates' a passage about how boyfriends are like cafe's in france: some are good, some aren't, but they are abundant! (awesome profound, too, propers).

She decides its time to get tha girls together. This scene WILL BE TRES CHIC. She calls up all the girls, and there is a four-way split screen, we get to see a glimpse of what tha ladiez have become, but let me jump to SAMANTHA, Y'ALL FAVORITE SEXXED UP SASS.

Samantha is in a hospital, suffering from a rare STD that can't be diagnosed. She is not alone, as her boytoy, the CK Model is all up in there with her, just strickly chilling and what have you. We see Doctors talking about how this STD is rare, and has no cure, and they are down on it. We get the vibe that she doesn't have long to live....Samantha overhears a DOC talking, and she turns to her boy and says 'you know what? If I don't, meow, have time to live -- then I'M GOING TO LIVE IT UP! mrowr..." She exclaims in a fabulous way (as always).


The next scene, Samantha is just getting dressed -- it's like the scene from BATMAN FOREVER when the BM gets dressed. She pulls on her panties, then her blouse, then her stunning Channel belt, then a skirt made of Possum firm and glue, finally a super fab clutch. THe audience stops, and she breaks the 'fourth wall' and says 'YOU KNEW I WAS FAB,,DIDNNNT YOU?'

The CK Model dude helps her escape by dressing up as a Doctor, and putting Sam on a hospital cart. There is a FUNNY AZZ scene wherein Samantha gets up, looking hot as always, and STOPS A OLD MANS HEART, HE DIES off screen.... funny, Anyway, The two get out, when MIRANDA makes her first appearance, riding a horse(expained later). Sam, CK Dude and Miranda ride off through Manhattan traffic -- this scene is described as 'Michael Bay-Esque'.

It's unclear what happens to Charlotte, except her character is described as being 'broke' and 'terminally sad'. It looks like one of the story arcs will be Carrie trying to re-invigorate her ladies brigade with a slew of analogies comparing relationships with other things. I think maybe Charlotte broke off with the bald dude, and now she is not happy, and basically a fucking loser. This was a contractual GUARANTEE BY the girls because Kirsten Davies has starred in several Tim Allen Disney movies, and that makes them FUCKIN' PISSED AT HER (jealous, mrowr.)

More Later. I've got ADR until 3:00am.

SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE SCRIPT, I'VE SEEN IT!

I'm on the set this week, filming against green screen for an upcoming promo. An associate dog on the set told me he had something for me. I wasn't sure at first, and wanted to make sure he wasn't going to be giving me his special assistant for life. I called a pal, and we met clandestine, yo. It was all good, I promise. A friend had given me a VHS copy of a show called Sex & The City, which was randy indeed. Very horney, I thought. I felt it was very counterculture, something like Kurt Vonegat or Dennis Leary the LCD person. If it's counterculture, I'm in like flynn. I watched this show, and I was charmed, yo, I'm surious.

It was very satisfactory, and I watched all seasons. I was so fuckin sad when it ended. It hurt.

Word around the film community was hot and heavy, erhm....yes Sex and The City was back on track, but this time as a feature film! I was so excited, but even more excited to meet up with my friend, and get a peek at the TOP SECRET SCRIPT.

Oh, I will give you a few teasers, but I promoise THERE WILL BE HELLAMORE Y'ALKLHURD?

It stars all the original girls: carrie, samantha, etc.

Mr.Big is featured heavily, and most importantly SO DOES HIS MEAT.

It's been rumored that Mr.Big got his name because he has a big peice of meat in his pants, and if this script turns out to be the final version, the audience will finally get to see it. The opening scene has Carrie getting a tattoo of Audry Hepburn on her lower back in a paris cafe', it might be a dream sequence or some such. She is wearing a pink poofy skirt, fishnets, red 80's style bopsie socks, 7' Manhlo PUMPS (ruby red, think dorothy!), a sweater vest, gold lame' shirt, and a super cute hat with 12' brim, matching poof ball and embroidered details. As she is getting the tat, someone mysterious enters the room : he's french, and very dreamy. We don't know what Carries status is at this point, but we do know she is fab!

The dreamy gent steps to her and says something like 'oui, are you famous Carrie, sex and city?" and she giggles, oh she giggles...it will feel so rewarding to hear that laugh again, that sweet laugh of Carrie.

Right as she is about to say yes, it turns out she can't talk, she has TB (think it's a dream) and apparently is quarantened, but still acting outside the law, as the rebel she portrayed for so many years.

Two medical officers (hotties, most likely, CK modelz) walk in and say 'you are under-arrest!! for being a foxxer!'

Well, I'm about to go back on set. I PROMISE Y'ALL I'LL BRING YOU MORE TOMORROW. HURD THAT?

First iPhone Review: Lacking features, not sensuality.

Well, Joboso just sent me one of the first production iPhone units. He obviously is trying to get with me, and get me on board with his anti-human thing. I understand what he saying, but yo, things aren't as easy as 1-2-3, pay me, pay me. I have something called moralz, and I stick to em' like glue, hurd?

So, I opened the box. I know all these people are out there, searching, preying for this thing. I know this is so important to people. I thought, fine -- let me check it out. I'm in my trailer, waiting, just waiting to step on set. I opened the box, and pulled out the phone.

First impression: Looks nice, I guess, if you like corporate crap that is totally cluttered. Where are the buttons? First -- where are they? What is this sposed to be, a TV set? I mean -- even a TV has buttons. Cheap, cheap ass shit. Whats next...no antenna? I KID YOU NOT, THERE IS NO ANTENNA ON THIS POS!

So, I'm thinking, how the hell am I going to use this clunker without buttons or an antenna? Laugh. I opened the manual, which Jobs wrote 'you're the best, enjoy this thing, call me with it and we can talk' then he put his numberos. I thought about him for a few, then read the manual. I think you're sposed to touch this screen. What is this the year 2000?

So, I finally get it working. Some of the features.

1.) Music Player, can play songs in a format called AAC or MP3, not sure what it means. I'm going to mod mine so it can accept compact discs (DUH) instead of FORMATS THAT NOBODY HAS EVER HEARD OF. Why didn't they just put an 8TRACK in this POS!?

2.) Phone. There ARE NO BUTTONS on here, so good luck getting anything to work easily. I just finished fully lotioning my body, so it's hard to use a touch screen. Did they think of that? 90% of the country lotions hourly, how are they expected to use this?

3.) Penis. My model has an extendable penis function. I found this by accident, and I was quite startled. The iPenis mode may have been just for me and I can't figure out what to do with it. I compared it to my own 'equipment', to no avail.

4.) Apple Insignia. The back of the phone has an apple insignia, which is NO SUPRISE at all. Why didn't they just put a picture of HUMANITY BEING CRUSHED BY ZOIDS because thats where this is all heading. Assholes.

5.) BBSing capability. This is cool, I looked at some of my boards via telnet, and it worked. I also logged into my Compuserv account. I don't get it, no AOL bundled? Thats going to cause lots of problems out there. I was hoping to check the weather and sports, but without AOL I was a little lost. I don't get the world today.

The thing is pretty sensual, if you ask me -- thats it's strongest point. I sat it down across from me, and I felt nervous. There was some energy there, I don't kid you. There was a sexual tension across the room. I didn't want to use it for calls, or for bbsing, or for anything-- I just wanted to make love to it. I started thinking about myself, and about this thing -- and I got hot and bothered, yo it was fab!!!

The next day, I'm thinking, I will take it out for some light dinner, then take it back to my trailer and ----- the SHIT out of it.

Can't wait, YUM!

Greatest Mysteries In Cinema...

When Orson Welles made his movie 'Citizen Cane' in the early forties, he put forward a challange to y'all making movies out there. He said [paraphrazed] "yo, movie makers, you need to have a mystery in your picture, you know what I'm sayin?". I remember those words. I sat outside, in the cold rain, and thought about it. You see, I had just seen 'Citizen Cane' on a pictoscope at the Reynolds Theater in Mesa, AZ. I wanted to thank Mr.Cane for the movie, which I felt was [a little long] but really fun. Since that day, those 'in the know' have pondered one little word : "Rosebuds". What does it mean? Perhaps, yo, you may have heard this in a joke? A pop-culture reference or some such thang....well, I'm here to tell you, like Cane told his fellow movie men that it has much signifigant.

I'm telling you this because I've got my own film, an undetaking that is mammoth, not unlike what Orson Cane did for his movie back in the yesteryear of filmmatics. I am telling a great mystery, and I am telling it with pizzazz, and gusto. So, what is 'Rosebuds' you ask? Well, when I watched 'Citizen Cane' I pondered many options....first, I figured it was a plant he used to have as a child, then I thought it might be something bigger -- like some ex-gal, or perhaps cleaning supplies. I realized that it was an analogory for the entire film! Rosebuds was a piece of wood that came from his childhood mantle where he slept [this is never fully explained in the film, you just see an old ass Cane sittin there with tears and shit, and he is holding this peice of wood with the word 'Rosebuds' written on it. Scholars argue, but I know, I know thats what it was]. It was a powerfull seen, but a mystery throughout y'all whole film. Don't sleep -- I know you want to see it now, dontcha?

Mysteries like this are 1 in 1 million, but I have put something together for my friends, fans, others. What exactly is MISTER NURSE and what importance does he have on my life? Is he a human, perhaps alien, other species? Does he fight me, or help me? Hug me or hit me? So many options, too little time! As they say in greek: 'Chu Chanto Muy Bien, Guapo' or 'Handsome times require Handsome challanges'.

Thats all y'all. Until next time, KIT.

'Troy'

I have a Krakken In My Pants.

I just finished doing ADR for episode 2, and I have to say, it's shaping up hella well. I did some research, and I spoke to our Directors and writers, and I wanted to bring reality to the HILT this time. I like to think of it like I think of sex, or cameras. I use my LENS and I TAKE PICTURES of things I like. If you replace the word lens with a naughty word like PETER things take on a whole new shape, a new shape indeed, yo.

This episode is about REBIRTH. What happens to a man like myself when a beautifull dove is ripped from my arms by a henious Jackyl-Lord? That man, that white haired devil...he thought he had the upper hand, but what of my own angel? If I am indeed a remaking of the holliest hella rad dogs, then what indeed protecteth mah?

But, things are not what they seem to be. Ask dicks out there, because I speak reality. Who is MISTER NURSE exactly? Did he help me, harm me, what else? Is he tall, is he dope, rad? Perhaps, dumb? What IS HE? Has there EVER been a greater mystery in cinema? This is why I'm an ART-I-TECH. I mine for art, I slave for art, art and me do it to it. What would you do if you saw me in the mirror instead of you, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Think about it, then holla back ya hurd?

Troy Vs. Jobo

Whats up 'Steve Jobo'. What is possibly the worst thing I could do to smite you? Yeah, I'm mad at you. See my last post, but for real -- Macintoshers are naming their computer systems after animals and food, and not PEOPLE. That is what happened in T2. I don't want a robot in my head, telling me WHAT TO DO and WHAT NOT TO DO. Thats why I have to make a statement. Even tho I utlize hella tight radicon eqiptment such as the Macer 10 and Quick Times Pro, I had to make a statement. Yes, I know you've contacted me and asked that I sign an exclusive contract to promote the new MacBook Pros, especially when I start press junkets in late 07, early 08 for the film-- but, I have to make a point, Jobo. I have to make a point...so, here it is. As Oscar Wild said 'To each his own, choose a mobile phone, a tailored suit, a luxury home..." Right now wizards at ILM are affixing the following tatty to my chest for Episode 2...

MY Keynote address.

Dear Steve 'Jobs',

My name is 'Troy'. I am both an auetuer, a dramatic actor, a thespian, a warrior, and a photag. I take pictures. I capture life. What do you do? Make Macs, apples, compus? I make life and develop it, you make life and complicate it. Have you ever seen those commercials that show Windows Computors and Macintosh computers, but represented as 'people' instead of machines? Thats calleld personification. It's the process in which a hard core mother fucker takes a non-living entity and personifies it, personifcation. Maybe you should -watch yo self- next time you make a keynote address.

Look, I will be the first to tell you, I don't know the first damn thang about the Apple Macin or the Windows Viewers. I do run PHOTOSHOPPE on my computer, but it's one I made out of an oatmeal box -- a pinhole computer if you will. I guess you made a 'keynote' speech this week. Well, I have a key, and it opens a lock to a place called 'AUTOMATION OF SOCIETY' yo, bad stuff indeed. Have you ever seen Soylent Green? A movie about how computers will soon turn heads into piles of food? Aren't you affraid? I look at your MacinBook and see doom, I see dread. Quite frankly, I see sorrow.

Leopard? How about LEOTARD because it stretches over your body and consumes it. It's like a leotard, and you're a leopard in sheeps clothes. A predator waiting to strike thine throat. Shakespear said it best 'Thy computer is not thine to own, not thine to drinketh from, upon thine lips speaketh thy apple, upon thy lips speakteth tho death..' That was 40 some odd years ago. Still rings true.

I want a MacinBook computer, mommy get it for me. Mommy, can I have a Macin Printer, a Macin cable, some Macin hamburgers, mommy? Oh, mommy please. Mommy? Can I have a MACIN CYBER CORE to control my thoughts. Whats that mommy? MY CYBERCORE wants me to only feel happy, it wants me to only do right...Mommy, I don't recognize you I AM NOW CYBERCORE.

Imagine, how something so simple can change into that nightmare I painted above. Heads sure are a listening, but are you speaking what they want to hear? I'm sick of assholes like you and Axel Rose. I hate you both. Jobs and Rose, two guys who don't understand what I need out of life.

Why not make a computer named after an inventor like Albert Einstein, Ron Popeil, Tucker? Why not make a computer named after a human, instead of an animal, instead of a fruit. The Mac Banana Fox. Thats a great name....asshole.

More on you later Jobo.

Signed, 'Troy'

WARP SPEED IN THE YEAR 2 SEVEN

Whats up? So, The new show 'Make a movie' with Stephen Speilberg is on tonight. I thought I might take a look at it because, me am making a film and I felt it needed to be explored. I logged onto WikiTV and I started typing some keyz, I wanted to choose my own keys, I HATE the established order of QWERTY, yo. I say, no. In the early 19th century, when keyboards were being developed by the Knights in the Knights + Dragons era of History, they decided that a man who went by the name QWERTY was important. He talked, and thus, the letters were born.

Why take a year old contrivance, and hell of associate it with the keyboards of the 21st and 22nd centuries? Why don't we just 'pull a chain' to flush our bowls, or use leafs to finish in the toilet. It's called advancementism. See, man likes to advance it's sciences and thingz, and that is what man does best. Why would we harkon back toward the knights and dragons era, or the laura ingles period? Why would anyone make a chair by hand? We have developed roboticons to do this for us. Dog, it's called reality, maybe you should check your PDA or CAMERA PHONE at the door and recognize that these are both products of societial advancementism.

Yo, you never thought that Mr.Troy would be dropping some brainism on all of you alls mind spaces? Speaking of. I think it's fun when we like to do it up in the house. It's all of good, peeopz..

For those of you interested, and according to my COMPUSERV account, many of you are. Episode two is being put together right now, but first, it is being evaluated by the Associated Press for possible inclusion in the AP ALMANAC, something created in association with YAHOO GROUPS, Mapquest and a prince from Egypt who needed help cashing a check. It's live, and serious, and for those of you who are scared, YES, BOO BOO DOES FACE ADVERSITY in this chapter. That is called REALITY, and another word for you, REALITUDE.

Tattoo of a baby.

What is up there, dogz. I want to get a tattoo of a baby on my shoulder, but I haven't got one. Should i buy one on Craigs list, or just make up a fake baby face and pretend it's mine? My life is in transition, I need help and ideas, fellows.

tears are salty

I know because I've been crying all night. Tears on my face, and tears in my heart. Don't judge me.

My Life Is Imploding.

'you better check yourself, before you wreck yourself'
- Ice Cube feat. Das Efx

Life is like a sad face. Sometimes it frowns, and other times, it isn't sad, it's deceptive. I think this is my life. There are many things that are not all of that, and I need to flip up the script up and explain it to all of you all.

First, I decided to hell of go and get some new TATZ, for those who aren't down with my lingo slang, TATZ is short for 'tattoos'. According to websters, and WAPEDIA a tattoo is a surgical pigmentation that is implanted intoward your skin molecular cells. I have so many, I do now. FUCK establishment! I have all of my fav cameraz all up and down all of my armz, and I'm getting a new tatty on my stommy : It reads in old englash letters 'TAKE THIS' and then there is a picture of a shutter, and an arrow that points DOWN. Yeah, I GO FOR IT. I GO FOR IT. I am turning a deaf ear toward the world right now. F you AXEL, that NAME IS FITTING.

I was going to make China Democracy a major hit, and I was going to drop my life for you. I'm sick of it. Why don't you go and roll around in your piles of cash... I don't need none of that chedder because I have something called 'artism', it's like narcolepsy, but for artists, dick.

Back in 1986 when you wanna make piss/I wanna make money in both of my fists, so I take out me camera and snap some pics/wake up smell the roses, cause you aint sh--!
-'Troy' from his China Democracy journal.

The passage above would have been on your album, but guess what? YOU BLEW IT! . Can you imagine that passage dissing your man Slasher? Your ex-pan Duffy, and Kagan? Kagan would have pissed on himself if you added his lame name, like 'Kagan, you think you drum with one arm, I think you DUMB with one arm'. An Axel is supposed to keep things spinning, but you 'my friend' (I thought I could call you that, but you're only a friend to people you trust, know and respect, I don't need a friend like that jerk...) don't keep -anything- spinning.

Well, my movie, typical Hollyweird. The producers want to WATCH WHAT WE SHOT. They don't like it, think it's too 'real' to true. I bet they told that to Martie Scorcesen when he made Mad Streets and Rageing Bull. Maybe they should think with their MINDS instead of their BILLFOLDS. Think about that when you sip your drinks.

'Troy'

Axel, you are officially on my sh@t list!

yeah, yeah it's your boy, Troy. I'm SICK of this. Axel, you think your all of that? Guess what buddy - you aren't! You think just because you wrote Cherry Pie, and Live and Let Die, you think just because you wrote those songs, you're something? Guess WHAT? YOU AINT NOTHING IN MY EYES! I wanted to join you. I was going to be your symbiote, I was going to be part of you. I wanted to weave into you like your hair is a weave. I want to run, I want to run so fast that a TRAIN can't catch me. Life is like that, it's prickly, it's hard and dirty. I've been had so many times, and I'm tried of it. I can imagine, you sitting in your mansion on beverly hills drive, kicking it with your 'guy friends' Slasha-10, duffy and the guy from The Replacements, all just sipping on some brew dogs, LAUGHING AT TROY. Well TROY IS SAD, is that WHAT YOU WANTED? Well you got it fricking mean jokers. It's real funny isn't it? I am sitting here, wearing GnR clothing, everything. I bought iron ons and ironed on a GnR logo onto my thong. It's so tight, this thong -- its for GIRLS, because you wore tight pants, and I wanted to be just LIKE YOU. Well, I learned pal, I learned that yo are not ALL OF THAT AT ALL. Maybe you should HAVE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR and see the sad face that looks back, then wipe that TEAR away that you are sure to have and think about the ARTIST who is here on the other side of planet rejection, ready to make a MOVIE THAT WILL BRING IT.

AXEL: I HATE YOU DOG!

Signed, 'Troy' (my mama always said their would likely be days simil

Axel, what would you do if I ran away?

Dear Axel Rose,

Apparently you're too busy being stupid to answer my emails. I'm so upset with you Axel, I thought you and me would do something together? Something to challenge the status quo? THE TRUTH IS, maybe YOU ARE the STATUS QUO. Remember when you wore those NWA hats all up onto of your head? Well, now you should wear RONALD REGAN hats because you're probably voting for him or Martain Landau in West Wing, DICK. I'm so tired of you rock stars, 'importantes'' as the french call them. You should be SEEKING me, I shoot photographs wonderfully, beautifull works. I act my soul out on film, even on VIDEO, I connect with my AUDIENCE, and I release. When was the last time you had it with a girl? I bet not just the other day, because I did it for so long the other day I was relatively sore in my box. You probably don't like it, hah hah. You would probably rather NOT RETURN PHONE CALLS than DO IT. You are missing out on something that would make CHINESE DEMOCRACY A MAJOR HIT RECORD...me. Forget Slashman, forget Duffet, forget the guy without an arm, or the guy with a bucket of chicken ontop of his dome space, you need me. I was brining you soul. MY soul. You probably sold yours to el diablo ages ago, right after 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' came out and made money for THE ESTABLISHMENT. Well, maybe I will pull out my HOLGA MEDIUM FORMAT CAMERA and shoot some SNAPS, yeah -- it has light leaks, BUT FUCK CONVENTIONALISM. I AM AN ARTIST. When was the last time you sang inside your MIC without counting those green duckets, you? Think about that when you are driving your Mach 5 down the street, punching baby walruses in the face and eating dolphin meat straight from the bone, JERK.

What would you do if I ran away? Just left this place? Would you MISS ME THEN? I bet you would, I bet YOU ALL WOULD.