Today was my day. I declared it when I woke up. It was going to be a rough day on the set. Shit, I mean -- do you hear that? The sound of comedy and tragety taking a back seat to the REALITY that inside of soul? In germany they call it Glotszpkt, or 'treasures of the heart'. Imagine what it would be like to RELIVE a terrible moment inside of your life? Would you do it? COULD you? Would you be MAN or WOMAN enough to STEP UP to the PLATE and RELIVE IT? yo, I do not believe that you would have fortitude to do it. I did. Thats what I DO. I am hella real, strong. I act, but I act life like a play made of Shakespear and others, those of the english language, who forged the ups and downs of our existance.

My lawyer says this is confidential, and I shouldn't be talking about it -- but, what give? I givea 100% and this is MY LIFE so forget WHAT THEY SAY. My director, he's a dick, but I feel he wants to make my performance 'movie like' like I was making fluff, The Battleship Potemkin or some other CRAP hollywood film. I don't do hollywood, holly would want to do me if she could do it to me like that. I don't want to make a fucking joke of myself. So I ACTED, yeah - like Michael Cain before me, like Jeremy Miller or Nichelson Cage as Randall 'Memphis' Raines. Back to my point - what would you do if you had to look in the eye, the beast? The white clad beast with the red cross upon it's bird like cheast? Would you cry? What if the beast STOLE YOUR SHIT and left you ABANDONED like a dog...what if he took what was most precious from you, most precious...second only to one other. Well, I came back...yeah, it was rough, and I'm about to expose this shit all up in the filmic medium, for YOU.

What would you do? What would you do? I bet you'd fold.

I didn't


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