Incredible Hulk! Incredible SPOILERS!!!!

I just received this spoiler-filled report from one of our spys out in the field. According to the moles over at Wiki, there are some major events going down in the hulk that are truly incredible!!!

IF YOU POST THIS, CALL ME 'INCREDIBLE SPOILER MAN 2009311 DARTH VADER'. I JUST SAWS A SCREENING OF THE INCREDIBLE HULK MOVIE IN LAGUNA BEACH, CALIFORNIA. I WAS THERE BECAUSE A FRIEND OF MINE LIVES THERE AND INVITED US TO COME AND VISIT HIS HOUSE. IT'S LIKE THE SHOWS AND TV HERE, BUT WITH MORE HOBOS AND LESS GIRLS. WELL, I'M SURE YOU ARE INTERESTED IN MY REVIEW OF THE INCREDIBLE HULK, OR THE GREEN MONSTER FROM GAMMA VILLE AS I CALL HIM. HEHEH LOL. BE PREPARED FOR SOME MAJOR UNDOING FROM ANGUS LEES ORIGINAL MOVIE FROM A FEW YEARS BACK. IN FIRST SCENE THE, ED NORTON AS BRUCE BANNER IS IN A BATHROOM IN BRAZIL. HE IS TAKING A LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SOMEONE WANTS TO GET IN, THEY ARE POUNDING THE DOOR HARD. HE SAYS 'NO, LEAVE ME ALONE IN HERE, I JUST WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE'. THEN THE GUY KEEPS BANGING AND BANGING HE SAYS 'I WANT TO USE THE TOILET'. ANYWAY, ED NORTON IS GOOD IN THIS SCENE AS HE GETS REALLY MAD AND THEN HIS EYES TURN GREEN [A FORSHADOW TO HIM TURNING GREEN ALL OVER, INCLUDING HIS BALLS / PRESUMABLY, NOT ON SCREEN DUE TO MPAA RESTRICTIONS]. WELL ED NORTON TURNS INTO THE HULK, BUT IT'S A DIFFERENT ACTOR PLAYING THE HULK -- HE IS BIGGER THAN ED NORTON AND MORE STRONGER.

THE RUMORS ARE TRUE IRON MAN APPEARS IN THE MOVIE IN THE FIRST PART, WHEN SAMUEL JACKSON COMES IN DRESSED AS A CHARACTER WHO IS 'BAD ASS' A DEPARTURE, HE SAYS 'THE HULK, WHAT DO YOU KNOW' AND IRONED MAN SAYS 'I KNOW THAT HE'S GREEN' THE CROWD LAUGHED AND I LAUGHED SO HARD, BECAUSE HE WAS SO LITERAL.

WELL, THE HULK IS DATING LIV TYLER HERE AND SHE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND. I BET SHE LIKES TO 'DO IT' WHEN HE IS HULK BECAUSE HE IS GREEN AND TALLER, AND YOU KNOW...HEHEH /THIS WAS ALSO OFF SCREEN BECAUSE OF MPAA RESTRICTIONS.

THEN THE ABOMINATION CAME AND FOUGHT HULK, HULK WAS PRETTY MUCH MAD WHENEVER HE NEEDED TO FIGHT, SO THE ACTION SCENES KICKED ASS. IT REMINDED ME OF THE OLD TV SHOW. THE BIGGEST SPOILER, AT THE END HULK IS RUNNING AWAY FROM PEOPLE AND HE IS SAD, THEN HE TURNS BACK TO BANNER AND THEN HE KEEPS RUNNING BUT WITH RIPPED CLOTHES. THEN THE CAMERA PANS INTO HIS FACE AND HE LOOKS UP AND HE HAS ONE TEAR, BUT THE TEAR IS GREEN. COOL!

Oh my god!! That sounds awesome!!! YOU GO!

'Troy'

TLOTH CLIP: Amazing scene, One take -- Orson Welles, Touch of Evil!

Dearest Friends. I have decided to start posting clips from the filming of my epic movie 'Troy Lessons Of The Heart". These clips are representative of the virus marketing and should be enjoyed by all people involved. We have recently set our sights on some A list actors to fill out this movie, which has been compared by Variety to 'Citizen Kane meets King Kong' the Pete Jackson version, of course.

In this clip - Mister Nurse and Troy are going toe to toe. It's classic Auburn + Tracy, it's a moment where two actors are just bleeding their talent into the scene. It's not over the top, it's refined. My work here [Troy] is subtle, yet full of subtext -- could you imagine the impact this would have on the young actors and actresses of the day?

Working in a strike enviroment, three friends on a beach.

"How do you do it" they ask -- the papparatzo as they comb the set of my already filming epic in the streets of San Carlo. "How do you do it, monsieur?" says a french journalist smoking a cig. I look to the crowd of street urchins, flickering their flashes and smile "I do it for the people".

Like any good man, I stand up when need by, yo. Listen, I told my writing staff that I would pay them to continue to re-write my lines. The initial script is terrible, and I don't feel it sounds 'like me'. So, if I could choose -- I would say an embargo on 're-writers' is necessary.

How would this work? Not unlike a deal struck by David Letterman and his World Wide Pants consortium, I would negotiate directly with the WGA to find a way to secure a deal that would allow this epic to finish, to proceed and blossom like sex on a beach covered with salt and sand. Hollywood NEEDS this, they need Troy. How can anyone argue? I recently sat down with some of my favorite people Actress Hillary Swank and comedian Dave Coulier. We sat down, sipping mimosas and looking at the beauty that is mothers nature. I told Dave that he should join me in my fight, join my fight...he looked at me and said (in the voice of fictional cartoon sailor, Popeyes) "Argh, Matey, ak ak ak ak ah" it was so funny -- Swank laughed and a stream of mimosa/mucus burst forth from her nose, causing me to vomit my mimosa and laugh. Dave LOVES doing that.

We sat down some more, and looked at what mothers nature had created -- the skys, the clouds, I looked at my pants : I thought, 'every fiber of this was created by her, mothers nature'. I said it out loud...I didn't even realize, but I said it out loud. At first, Swank looked at me and she kind of gave me a dirty eye, I felt naked and raw. I felt so bad about myself. I looked to Dave, and he had his shirt off and was punching himself in the tit extremely hard -- his cheast was red. He was making a joke, a joke in light of me. Swank looked me in the eye with a trinkle of sorrow, and she said 'mother nautre is in all of us' . We kind of wept, and cried, and Dave and me kissed for the first time -- he kissed me in the voice of Bullwinkle, and then the Jackalope made a visit.

That night, the three of us wound up in bed together....a bed made of wood, and sheets made of cotton; Mothers Nature would be proud.

Signed, 'Troy'

WGA STRIKE NEWS - Carson Daily All That?

What up y'all. It's known that Carson Daily, aka Mr.Day is in the house in more ways than one. According to the new WIKI entry, Daily is going to explode his hilarious comedy across the united states soon, going against orders from the WGA high counsel and doing 'his own damn thing'.

I feel this will strike a mighty punch to the WGA, as Daily is regarded as one of the most talented, hilarious, and witty writers/performers around right now. It's like saying that Michael Jordan is going to be the only player in the NBA. Daily, known for being the most important piece of the lucrative MTV empire in the 90s has been dominating late night TV for the last several years. According to Reuters, Daily will soon replace Conan AND eventually land a prime time slot that will allow him to stretch out Variety show style across several hours.

WWCDD Bumper stickers are the new hot thing, and many HOT TOPICS stores are selling shirts featuring a vintage, circa 1999 image of Carson with some paint splatters. One photoshop blogger has managed to photoshop an EMO haircut onto Carson, and he looks fab! The shirt, titled 'CARSON EMO DAILY' can be found exclusively at Fred Segals in West Hollywood for $150.00 with all proceeds going to the WGA Warriors Fund.

Unsexy? SJP? SAY WHAAA?

SJP SEYZ: ALL THIS NONSENSE IS MAKING
MY DOME ACHE.

The world has come to new levels of low, all of you all. Listen up. We all know that one of the most important, sensual, french dipped straight eight honies on the planet is the luxurious lass know as SARAH JESSICA 'AKA CARRIE' PARKER. She rocked it with FAB AZZ style all up on the SEX AND THE CITY joint for years, making men ACHE and women DROOL with her fab style that took convention AND FUCKED IT UP THE A--. Thats right, like Frank Sinatro she did it 'her ways' and she did it good, real good.

So a magazine called MAXIMUM named her on there top UNSEXY LIST. I don't understand....SJP, UNSEXY? Thats like saying 'my thing' is not satisfactory, y'all. A mister nomer for sure. Another Mister Nomer is the idea that SJP should even apper on a list, when she is G-O-D and everyone else on the list is D-O-G.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER POWER LIFTS A HOMELESS MAN OUT OF
A GUTTER IN FRANCE. WITH ZERO PERCENT BODY FAT, SHE CAN
PRETTY MUCH DO WHATEVER THE FUCK SHE WANTS -- INCLUDING
HER OWN DAMN THING....

Look, I can see why you would put her on your list...first of all, shes a woman and she knows whats up when it comes to dating situations. Part of me belives that CHRIS NOTH aka MISTA BIG was behind this, because he didn't want his girl to be TAKEN AWAY from him. It's PUBLIC FUCKING KNOWLEDGE ASS HOLES that SJP and Chris Noth are truly getting it together behind the scenes, and when I mean getting it together I mean straight up BRUNCH AT GORDON RAMSEYS RESTURANTS, THATS CLASSY SHIT. Some of my so called friends have said that there is someone other than SJP that is sexy, but I tell them nay -- I tell them to watch the SITC box set, and try not to finish right there. I remember when Carrie went on a date, and she GIGGLED it was so fun -- she giggled so hard when the fella made a joke. Sensuality is the circulatory system being fully visable from OUTSIDE THE SKIN, FUCK FAT!!! SJP brings it -- shes a walking greys anatomy book, PLUS she goes for her in a dance capacity. SHES A SHADY LADY THAT I WANNA GET WITH FOR SURE!! ANYTIME, GIVE ME A CALL SJP!!! FUCK SHARON, I'M MAD AT HER.

MORE SEXY CITY NEWS!!!

HI, I GOT THIS HOT REPORT FROM SOMEONE NAMED 'SCREENACTORZGILDE-200' regarding the SITC:M.


HI TROY. I LOVE YOUR BLOG. IF YOU USE THIS, CALL ME 'SCREENACTORZGILDE-200' THANX. WELL, I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WORKS IN THE OFFICES IN NEW YORK, THE ONES WHERE THEY ARE STAGING THE NY SCENES OF SEX IN THE CITY. A FRIEND TOLD ME THAT PHIL TIPPET IS BEING FLOWN IN TO PRODUCE THE ANIMATRONIC SEQUENCE WHEREIN KIM CATRAL MORPHS INTO FIRST A KITTEN (FIRST HALF OF THE FILM) THEN A LEOPARD! YES, TIPPET IS A MASTER OF THE MORPHING PROCEDURE HAVING PERFECTED IT ON THE AMAZING SNOOP DOG 'DOGGYSTYLE' VIDEO. THEY HOPE TO CAPITALIZE ON THE NEW COUGAR TREND, AND KIM WILL 'GO FOR HERS' IN THE MOVIE. THE FINAL SCENE, SHE WILL BE HALF WOMAN, HALF COUGAR MAN. IT'S GOING TO BE COOL! THINK PANS LABRNYTH MEETS THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK MEETS OH MY GAWD, SEX IN DA CITY.

i HAVE NO IDEA IF THIS IS TRUE OR NOT, but i hope so. please god!!!!!

sIGNED, 'tROY'

Sex In The City Movie News! SCRIPT REPORT!

Hi friends. Well, I got my hand on some more pages of shooting script from a good associate who goes by the name of MANHATTENSFINEST-001 . He/She is a PA on the set, and he has some juicy azz gossip for all of you all players and people out in there. Well, I don't want to reveal who this person is, but I will tell you that he/she was privy to some GREEN SCREEN shots of a one MISS KIM CAT-RAL yes, I emphasized CAT because of the HARD HITTING sequence in the SITC movie wherein she MORPHS into a cat. I'm so sexed up thinking about it, and I know you are too, sick fucking perverts.

So, anyways -- check it out, as I established, she has a rigorous STD that cannot be diagnosed in the film, and she is still dating that Calvin Klein dude, who is going to have a mustache in the flick (Tres Retro!!!). In this sequence, Carrie is having a date with a male suitor who she is dating to make MISTA BIGG jealous, as he will not marry her. She has on a white tumbled cotton frock, orange halter style Gautier' shenswa, orange make up, and a clown hat/purse, she looks fab and knows it. She has worked out really hard, so she has 0% body fat which looks good on her face especially (not in the script notes). Anyway, our girl Carrie is walking down the street and has some TOP NOTCH dialog to boot:

CARRIE: Oh, wow [looking at city lights] and burrrr...I'mmm coolllld! [tittering]

MALE: Yeah? So -- why don't you wear a jacket next time.

CARRIE: Well, a real gentleman would offer---

MALE (cutting her off): would offer you this...?

THE MAN MOTIONS TO A FAB MINK COAT WHICH IS HANGING OFF A HOMELESS PERSONS NECK.

MALE: See they -DO- have a purpose Carrie.

The two laugh as Carrie grabs the coat from the homeless person. She puts it on, and smiles. She does LOOK AB FAB!

MALE: This is what it would be like...to be....with me.

The two share a moment.

SUDDENLY A helicopter is heard overhead, and a man is DROPPING DOWN from a rope. He drops directly between them MISSION IMPOSSIBLE STYLE.

MISTER BIG: Did someone say 'be with me'? [TO MALE] Well, I wouldn't be with you if you were the last person on earth --

CARRIE: AWE! BIGG. Argh! Harumph! Always in the wrong place at the wrong time!

Male looks to Bigg in astonishment -- he feels like he's staring at a statue of jesus himself!
Bigg looks at Carrie and the two lock eyes.

MISTER BIG: you see Kid, me and you -- we goin places. To the moon!

BIG motions up and his helicopter drops another rope...the two asend toward the moonlight.


OH MY GOD!! THIS IS SO EXCITING!!!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR THIS. I HOPE SOMEHOW THEY CAN WORK UGLY BETTY INTO THIS!!!

Peace, 'Troy'

the new ipod is a dick.

well, well, well. It looks like the new ipod 'touch' is a bit of a self-centered dick head, fucking asshole, asswad. I bought it, and I touched it. I touched it for the entire night. I touched it with my hands, my toes, even my 'part' yeah, -the- part -- the main part.

I touched it with my part for hours. I used cover-flow with 'my part' and even tho 'my part' eventually got sore and a little rashey, I was able to select my favorite Macy Gray Jam and serious listen to it with MY SOUL. Thats right, I touched this thing all night, and you know what it did for me? NUTHIN FOOLS, absolutely nothing.

I thought to myself, what would be THE innovation that 'jobo' would unleash, the one thing that we have wanted since Brent Spinner brought the incomprable MISTA DATA to life? A sentient chip. I wanted this FUCKING THING to have some emotions. I touch it, I prod it, I play with its bits, and it DOES NOTHING FOR ME. It leaves me cold to the touch. Well, BFD you got COVER FLOW -- how about blood flow...to the heart. Think about that tomorrow, jerks.

The Revolution : Mister Nurse, Man Or Menace?

What The Revolution Looks Like, Pt.1

Carrie to have penis in SITC:TM?

I just got off the phone with a friend who worked on the album 'Shes a Shady Lady' by Leonard Kravitz, featuring CARRIE from Sex In the City. You might remember the groundbreaking advertisement, that swept horny sexuality across the world and solved some major global crisis -- similar to how Superman reversed the earth in Superman 2.

Well, this friend, lets call him 'SLIM SHADY' said that Carrie may have a penis in the Sex In The City Movie. THIS IS JUST SPECULATION. Here is what he sent me. Do with it what you will. Okay?

HI 'TROY', LOVE THE SITE. IF YOU USE THIS CALL ME 'SLIM SHADY'. WELL, I WORKED ON THE VIDEO 'SHADY LADY' WITH LENNY KRAVITZ AND SARAH JESSICA PARKER A FEW YEARS AGO. I JUST RAN INTO SJP AND SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE IS MEETING WITH ILM TO SEE ABOUT ADDING A PENIS TO HER SILOHETTE IN THE SEX IN THE CITY MOVIE. I ASKED HER WHY, AND SHE SAID 'IT WAS TOP NOTCH, SECRET, ZA ZA ZA ZOO'. I WAS VERY CURIOUS. I KNOW YOU ARE A BIG FAN OF HER, SO I THOUGHT YOU COULD USE THIS INFO. THNX

I finn a don't know if this is true or a misnomer, but if it's true THAT WILL ROCK THE VERY CORE OF THE SEX IN THE CITY UNIVERSE.

Do Clowns Have Sex Appeal? Yeah...

It came to my attention lately that some people in the liberal media are claiming that Clowns are not perceived as 'sexy'. Well, yo, I straight up disagrree with that assumption. Firstly, let my state that Clowns, or as they are known 'Clownz' in the more hip-communities such as Williamsberger or otherworld, are very sensual creatures. In the early 19th century, a man named John Clown decided that the way to the heart of women was via a transformation that involved make-up. I'm serious, yo, the clown nose, the face, the white skin -- think about it? Does it remind you of something'? Perhaps a GEISHIA? Yes, a GEISHIA of sorts, indeed. Clowns are essentially Male GEISHIA and are part of a seductive dance of sensuality. John Clown went on to be known as Cassanova, and other terms -- a urban legend that is based in 100% reality.

Now, I say this because people have been extremely critical that me hiding behind the make up to play 'DA JOKER 2' was a misstep. They said " 'Troy' why would you hide your sensual qualities behnd all dat make-up. We can barely see your smiling face" I looked them into the eye and said "Exactly, thats it. Now move along" I said, quite awesome if you ask me!!!

So as the clowns say "UHGH, YOU KNOW IT!"

Signed,

'Troy'

Nike DUNK x Whatistroy Preview.

I am going to get in mad trouble for posting these! Nike is working with me on these kicks for Winter. They will tie in with the TROY: LESSONS OF THE HEART epic feature film. Sorry in advance if I'm not suposed to post these protos, Nike! Hopefully they will look a little tighter(these are painted protoz), if you will, when they arrive in limited quantities.

'Troy'

DARK KNIGHT SET PHOTOS! SPOILER ALERT

Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is in for it. Looks like DA
JOKER 2 ('Troy') might just have the the last laugh! [c. wb 2007]

I know this is going to be removed soon by the POWERZ that be, but I had to show y'all. Yes, I was in Dark Knight Returns, and yes Christopher Nolan specifically wanted me to play 'DA JOKER 2'. Thats right, I was the guy who faked being the Joker, but WARNER BROS thought that I was going to overshadow Heath Ledge. I don't disagree with them. I'm sending you this still of me, THE ACTUAL still that they are now showing with HEATH in MY ROLE. I say thee nay, WB. Why throw away your franchise, because you're affraid I will OUTSHINE IT?

Signed, 'Troy'

Carries Boob Shape Altered for SITC:TM?

PARISFILMFAN.COM is reporting that Carries boobs may be shaped differently for the Sex In The City Movie!!! Yes, possibly cones or triangles. According to the site, there will be a side-story wherein Carrie has to compare her boobs to those of someone 2 years younger. Apparently, Carrie feels that her boobs are still fab, but blogs are saying otherwise. NOT THIS ONE CARRIE!!! The BLOGOSPHERE IS ON FIRE ALL OF YOU ALL!!!!!!!


THis is going to be the BREAST movie ever. HEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHE.

'Troy'

Samantha Ressurected In SITC Movie?

Friends. I just finished reading a working draft, a new one that my boy hooked me up with. So, the Samantha story is pretty deep. I know many of you like her, because she speaks like a cat, and is full of sexual appeals. It's cool -- I think she is all that, not more. Well, for those of you who can't get enough 'all spark' on her, here is some good wordz:

Samantha is resurrected into a feline for a fantasy sequence in the Sex In The City Movie! Carrie Bradshaw, now working for Mista Bigg main lines pure meth and starts to dream about a cafe' in Paris she visited with the Russian dancer dog. Well, he was a dog, that is for sure. Well, the cafe is tres chic and all that. She remembers having baguettes full of umbrellas and wearing a uber cute Leus Croix Berret in fauna green. In her dream, she is naked except for a photograph of her as a younger gal, she looked more different then. This sequence is described as 'Fellini-esque' in the script. Carrie wanders the streets, and she is accompanied only by a kitten. A small kitten that purrrrrrs...well, the cat purrrs and is horny for some sex! Yes, she likes to do it! Carrie realizes, in her meth'ed out state that this cat is Samantha...or is it???

Not to drop too many spoilers, but Chris Noth morphs at least ounce in the film, as ILM is working on something called 'GREEN SCREEN' for those of you who aren't into movies, this is what is used when people want to make morphing effects. The most highly evolved version can be seen in the Michael Jackson Black or White Video. Well, I think Carrie Bradshaw is going to morph....on the inside. Life lessons y'all.

- 'Troy'

SEX IN THE CITY THE MOVIE, MORE SPOILERS.

I was lunching at The Ivy Store eating lunch. A friend of mine, the same fellow who got me the SITC:TM script had some more dirt. I was like 'whoa, for real?' Anyway, he pulled out a script -- a new script, version 2. I was excited. There was more here.

First, some updates.

Noth is called 'Mista Big' by Samantha who starts to try and be more up-to-date. At one point Carrie calls Samantha 'Da Queen' and she keeps that moniker for half the film. Noth will definitely feature some meat, but more importantly, he has a new gig : publisher of the New York Times.

Mista Big will try and 'give carrie' a new job, writing a column about how being fab is out of date, the article will be called 'Sad In The City'. Has big become a heathen?

It's possible that Carrie will become the focal point for a man-off featuring her former loves, including Ron Livingston and the guy from My Big Fat Wedding. There is a cheeky scene which describes Carrie having a TB induced hallucination wherein she sees the men fighting for her like gladiators with laser guns. It's something that would have been too expensive to pull of on TV, but now it's on the big screen. The sequence might also feature cameos from other Carrie men.

Miranda is now President of 'Oil Corp NY'. She has just negotiated a deal that will net the company millions in dividends, but at what cost? The deal will allow 'Oil Corp' to dump toxic chemicals into Manhatten Water! Miranda is being portrayed as one who 'lost her way'. She is described as having 'all that, and a sense of style to boot' in the footnotes.

I see where this is going, the story is about redepmtion. How can four girls come back together and wave their fab flags? How indeed. I'm excited to get back to the script. More later, mon feinds yo.

'Troy'

MORE SEX IN THE CITY, MR.BIG, CHRIS NOTH IN FILM,?

Hi fans. So, I've been able to snatch a few more looks at the 'Sex In The City' movie script. It's all on the DL for y'all out there. If you've read my previous posts, you know things are all crazy in the Sex world. Many of you are e-mailing me desperate to know the status of Mr.Big aka Chris Noth in the film. YES, HE DOES APPEAR. I have confirmed this. I have also confirmed my second most important e-mail question, DOES HIS BEEF MAKE A CAMEO? Well, I think so.

See, for those of you who have the courage to watch Sex in the City, the show, which is this generations Woodstock, a revolutionary tale of power and sex in the city, a monster of counterculture throughout the 1990s. For those of you who have the 'ganas' to do so, you know the improtance of BIG aka Mista Noth up in the mix. Well, one of the clues, the pandoras box of the show was weather or not Mr.Big was called Mr.Big because of a heavy weighted cock and ball. Many have speculated, and many blogs and on-line resources are dedicated to it. See, the writers of SEX laid clues throughout all episodes, not unlike the Davinci Code.

In the script, there is a shot described as 'Rory's First Kiss' as a joke on the Dark Knight pseudonym. Well, this shot is a dolly pan of a 'taught peice of skin, with coarse hairs poking out'. This shot pulls back slowly to reavel 1/4 of a ballsack hanging from 'a fabulously silky pair of gucci breifs, brizo breifs' . It is my assumption that this shot SETS OFF THE FILMS SECOND ARC AND LEADS TO A REVEAL OF NOTHS MEMBER. I believe part of the suspense will be the mystery of Bigs nuts, balls, etc.

Well, I'm so tired, y'all. I filmed a sequence today where I had to fight a dear friend, and possibly lose one all in the same. Damn, this film is hell of sad, you all.

'Troy'

MORE SEX AND THE CITY SCRIPT SPOILERS!

Your boy 'Troy' here. More notes from the Sex and the City movie script I got a glimpse at. Well, Y'all wondering what happened to your gurl Samantha?

Well, When Carrie recovers from her horny dream, she realizes that lifes foibles are what defines 'us'. She sits at her APPLE G5 specially designed for the film, featuring a cutout of Carries face that glows, and 'narrates' a passage about how boyfriends are like cafe's in france: some are good, some aren't, but they are abundant! (awesome profound, too, propers).

She decides its time to get tha girls together. This scene WILL BE TRES CHIC. She calls up all the girls, and there is a four-way split screen, we get to see a glimpse of what tha ladiez have become, but let me jump to SAMANTHA, Y'ALL FAVORITE SEXXED UP SASS.

Samantha is in a hospital, suffering from a rare STD that can't be diagnosed. She is not alone, as her boytoy, the CK Model is all up in there with her, just strickly chilling and what have you. We see Doctors talking about how this STD is rare, and has no cure, and they are down on it. We get the vibe that she doesn't have long to live....Samantha overhears a DOC talking, and she turns to her boy and says 'you know what? If I don't, meow, have time to live -- then I'M GOING TO LIVE IT UP! mrowr..." She exclaims in a fabulous way (as always).


The next scene, Samantha is just getting dressed -- it's like the scene from BATMAN FOREVER when the BM gets dressed. She pulls on her panties, then her blouse, then her stunning Channel belt, then a skirt made of Possum firm and glue, finally a super fab clutch. THe audience stops, and she breaks the 'fourth wall' and says 'YOU KNEW I WAS FAB,,DIDNNNT YOU?'

The CK Model dude helps her escape by dressing up as a Doctor, and putting Sam on a hospital cart. There is a FUNNY AZZ scene wherein Samantha gets up, looking hot as always, and STOPS A OLD MANS HEART, HE DIES off screen.... funny, Anyway, The two get out, when MIRANDA makes her first appearance, riding a horse(expained later). Sam, CK Dude and Miranda ride off through Manhattan traffic -- this scene is described as 'Michael Bay-Esque'.

It's unclear what happens to Charlotte, except her character is described as being 'broke' and 'terminally sad'. It looks like one of the story arcs will be Carrie trying to re-invigorate her ladies brigade with a slew of analogies comparing relationships with other things. I think maybe Charlotte broke off with the bald dude, and now she is not happy, and basically a fucking loser. This was a contractual GUARANTEE BY the girls because Kirsten Davies has starred in several Tim Allen Disney movies, and that makes them FUCKIN' PISSED AT HER (jealous, mrowr.)

More Later. I've got ADR until 3:00am.

SEX AND THE CITY MOVIE SCRIPT, I'VE SEEN IT!

I'm on the set this week, filming against green screen for an upcoming promo. An associate dog on the set told me he had something for me. I wasn't sure at first, and wanted to make sure he wasn't going to be giving me his special assistant for life. I called a pal, and we met clandestine, yo. It was all good, I promise. A friend had given me a VHS copy of a show called Sex & The City, which was randy indeed. Very horney, I thought. I felt it was very counterculture, something like Kurt Vonegat or Dennis Leary the LCD person. If it's counterculture, I'm in like flynn. I watched this show, and I was charmed, yo, I'm surious.

It was very satisfactory, and I watched all seasons. I was so fuckin sad when it ended. It hurt.

Word around the film community was hot and heavy, erhm....yes Sex and The City was back on track, but this time as a feature film! I was so excited, but even more excited to meet up with my friend, and get a peek at the TOP SECRET SCRIPT.

Oh, I will give you a few teasers, but I promoise THERE WILL BE HELLAMORE Y'ALKLHURD?

It stars all the original girls: carrie, samantha, etc.

Mr.Big is featured heavily, and most importantly SO DOES HIS MEAT.

It's been rumored that Mr.Big got his name because he has a big peice of meat in his pants, and if this script turns out to be the final version, the audience will finally get to see it. The opening scene has Carrie getting a tattoo of Audry Hepburn on her lower back in a paris cafe', it might be a dream sequence or some such. She is wearing a pink poofy skirt, fishnets, red 80's style bopsie socks, 7' Manhlo PUMPS (ruby red, think dorothy!), a sweater vest, gold lame' shirt, and a super cute hat with 12' brim, matching poof ball and embroidered details. As she is getting the tat, someone mysterious enters the room : he's french, and very dreamy. We don't know what Carries status is at this point, but we do know she is fab!

The dreamy gent steps to her and says something like 'oui, are you famous Carrie, sex and city?" and she giggles, oh she giggles...it will feel so rewarding to hear that laugh again, that sweet laugh of Carrie.

Right as she is about to say yes, it turns out she can't talk, she has TB (think it's a dream) and apparently is quarantened, but still acting outside the law, as the rebel she portrayed for so many years.

Two medical officers (hotties, most likely, CK modelz) walk in and say 'you are under-arrest!! for being a foxxer!'

Well, I'm about to go back on set. I PROMISE Y'ALL I'LL BRING YOU MORE TOMORROW. HURD THAT?