My Teaser, Thongs, and More.

Okay y'all this is it. I was talking to some of my friends the other day. I of course, was sitting in a make-up chair. I have a team of people who 'do me', my make-up. Not the way a gal does her make-up persay, but I do mine in a more manly fashion. For example, I cover up my blemishes with a little product called Tan Colored (or Coloured in the UK) Clearasil. It's awesome! So, I'm waiting around, watching dailys for my film. I mean, I set out to finna tell a tale of my life, the entire story. I was saying Epic, I meant big, like if you shot with panoram film, with gels, and using sound tape, and using different lens filters like skylight or haze, I mean films and then made 3d animations of my life. I looked at the dailys and they looked a little, not so good. I mean, I'm all about film, Nikon F2 is my weapon of choice. Occasionally, I use scrims. C-Stands are THA shit. So, I spoke to my director, who shot my story on video, or as I like to say Videoze, as in Video + Doze, as in sleep. Because, I think it's lame. Dog, listen, If I had my druthers I woulda shot the entire movie on my F2, cost de damned. Fuck cost. Think about the way you seize the day, in some cultures, like Hindu, they often say Carpe Diem, and it roughly translates into 'The Day Is Seized'. Well, more importantly, we need to talk about sex, ladies, and Valentines. According to Websters, Love is all of that, and I agree. I recently discovered that you can sell thong panties of anything on-line, with a little elbow grease and a grit. It makes me angry when I see what marketing is doing to me. I mean, they are putting my worst enemy Patric on ladies underpants, and expecting fools out there, all y'all who hella be all up in my blog readin' this in your cribs and what have you, to buy them as Valentines Day Gifts? I was thinking about the filming. I would have bought some film, 35mm, Fujichrome and shot the entire film, frame by frame, almost like stopped-motion animation. I then would have pushed the film 4 or 5 stops (if you don't understand this, maybe learn a little about CaMerAz, dogs) and printed it on glass. Thats me, I'm an artist. I think I came through, acting wise. I feel a little sad that it's not already out, with Oscar season upon us. Oh well, Carpe Diem, right?

It's all about the eyes.

Actors often lament about needing to 'see' inside each others minds, and that always reminded me of a 'mindreader'. It's not necessary. I knew that in order to tell the story of my life, I would have to take control of the part and be myself behind the lens. Who would they get to play me? I spent some time with the Producer crew, and they pitched me all kinds a crazy ideas because they tried to convince -me- that I couldn't do it, I couldn't act. I said 'how the hell can I not act and be myself at the same time?'. I am ME and I do it like I ought too. Here are some of the actors they wanted to play me, have a laugh at this y'all.

BEN STILLER

I knew that Stilla had the ability to play the deep layers of shade, intellect, and the touches of humor that I needed to reflect. I am the embodiment of a mutlilateral strucutre. Stilla is kinda tight, and I liked the movie where he played the guy who played ALF from TV. He was pretty good, and they tell me he would bring some box office cred, but why? The only box office I care a damn about is the box of vintage cameras in my office, get it?

DAVE COULIER

Best known as Joey 'Glad' Gladstone on the show Full House, Coulier, who is a fan of my photography, asked me if he could step into the role. I liked the depth he could bring, and I knew he could do some voices that would show the pain I went through. This story about my life is important, and I knew someone who could do a bangin ass Popeye voice may be the type of actor who could bring out the voice of my soul. Ultimatly, it was hell hard to figure this one out. I stayed up all night with a bottle of Abstheine drinking and thinking -- and crying. It was sad, hard choice. I'm me, and thats all that matters. Thats why I knew I could do it, you gotta have that inside you. Back in my neighborhood, we called that 'confidence'.

ADRIAN BRODY

It's all about the OSCAR today, Oscar, Oscar, Oscar. When I wrote the story, in multiple chapters, I knew that my life was something that could pass the test of time. I have a philosophy, and if you know my work -- you probably have this posted on ya wall somewhere. It's called the 'Life Equasion' Black + White = Life. That refers to EMULSION BASED photography, a little thing called film -- Tri-X, T-Max, you heard? Life is like a Lens, and my story IS like the film recording the greatest moments. Producers like 'yo, if this shit is on the Oscar tip -- lets get us Oscar man' I said to them, 'King Kong' that shit was commercial as hell, that made money at the box - FUCK DOLLAS. Bordy could bring it maybe, I saw him in The Piano with Harvey Kietel, but nobody does it like I do it.

HILLARY SWANK

Some people in Hollywood and in life tell me that it's not socially correct to have a girl play a man on a film. I told them "if thats so, check out boyz don't cry -- go watch it. that guy on there, that boy -- it's a girl!" I said that WORD FOR WORD. After they went home, rented that shit, and watched it they came back to me, like -- "nah, that was a dude". I looked them straight in the face and said "IMDB.COM - RECOGNIZE THE REALITY". After they went home, logged into their computer, loaded Internet Explorer and went to IMDB.COM they came back to me and said 'whoa, thats deep" and I said -- "Whoa -- thats life..." My agent called Hillary to see if she would be interested, and since I think society needs a bit of a shake down -- I gave it my full blessing. I think it's ludacris to have another person portray me, so ultimatly it didn't work out -- but heres to you Hillary.

The Golden Goose

Last night I had a dream, or an epiphany. I woke up sweating bullets, sweating bullets of sadness and joy. This emotional 'cocktail' was very powerfully indeed. If you think about this, you will be hardpresed to not feel the same as I.

The Golden Goose, yes -- that is my new moniker. That is my new nickname if you will. In some cultures, such as on-line culture, the use of surnames is popular. Dog, I am popular and thus I use this new name, gloriously -- The Golden Goose.

In the dream, I was wearing nothing but a large headdress, made of feathers, bone splitting and gauzy, blue and gold streamers. I wore this 'feather hat' as I called it (in my dream) for hours, as I was carried through a field of strawberry and wheat. Soon, those who had carried me -- duck like beings, similar to the platypus character on Mr.Rodgers -- sat me on a large podium made of straw and pennyroot. I soon was lead off the magic carpet type device I was carried on and escorted to this landing, made of pennyroot and straw.

I sat down, and they watched expectantly. What did they expect I thought to myself in a dreamline haze. I searched for my NIKON f2, but in this reality -- I did not have one. Startled by this sobering reality, I just sat, and sat. Suddenly, I felt strange -- very strange. Soon, from where I sat -- I rose! Underneath me, a large golden egg appeared -- yes, it was from within ME!

Soon the duck people swarmed, pushed me away. I had done my deed, I was now useless to them. They took hammers and javelins and poked the giant golden egg!! Soon, it broke in many pieces and inside the bounty revealed itself: Snickers bars, peppermint sticks and treats of various cultures pored from the egg.

Soon after, I woke up -- I realized, that life, indeed wants something from me. Maybe Sharon is in me somewhere? What is life without a good riddle? I call that death, dog, straight up.

First Cut is ever so very....

It's wack, yo -- check it out. I commisioned a movie detailing the path to glory which is my life, and they take it and, I might add -- I came with it straight out da gate as far as acting goes. Some of the staff called me up like 'yo, this performance was hell of tight, yo' and I was like 'thanks, but I barely even tried to kill it and I did it, yo'.

So, I'm waiting here creating some brilliant art with PHOTO SHOP and my f2 (peep my new photoz soon) and they call me up telling me about some 'first cut, rough cut' type of shit. That is not good, not.... My mood today is UPSET.

PHOTOSHOP SERIEZ 1

I've been anxious waiting for the edit of my movie to get done. Yo, this is the impossibility of life -- waiting. Time is of the essence, ain't it true? If god can make a whole planet outa of a rib, then I can wait for some peeps to edit up a film. Idle hands are the Devils plaything -- so I keep busy. A friend of mine online HACKPHR33k100 sent me a laptop and computer program called PHOTO SHOP. I guess alot of people use it, because they need to 'change' the way their photos look. I don't believe you can change a photo, if you change the frame then it is nothing. My man Henri-Cartier Breson once said so. So, that being said, I decdied that I could turn this PHOTO SHOP into a new medium, unlike photography. I started doing some stuff, and this is the first of many to come.

When you look at this, challange your mind, your innered-soul. It happened one night they say...

Margarita-Ville

I've taken to listening to lots of tunez these days. I try and find the most bangin shits but, sometimes I need to relax. Yeah, it's rough. Pouring yourself into a film role, like I've been doing -- it saps you. It takes away from your innerd-core. Mostly, it's made me think about Sharon -- alot. She was so supple, and I miss that. I think back to those days of straight going for ours and I remember...great times. So, that being said -- I wanted to try and find a common place on the audible level, someplace where, musically -- I could recline. It's all good I thought, I mighta find myself some CDz all up inside of my CD holder (really cool one too). I flipped through and found a disc labled 'JIMMY BUFFET'. Jimmy likes the good life, that is for sure. His work reminds me of some of the things Ive done with the WORDS@PLAY series. If you think about it -- he's a little bit of a riff on my work. Margaritaville is a slammin track he has, where the words indicate that people should 'sip their days away at Margaritaville'. I looked it up in a dictionary, and there isn't a definiton for Margaritaville -- I figured I might have to make one up!

Margaritville (place): A beach where the Margaritas are overflowin' and the ladies out their doing they are thing.

So imagine, visualize yourself out there -- just sipping' on some Margaritas and you see these honies playing, but then imagine that one of the girls has a face of someone you love so dearly, someone you miss so dearly, then take the margarita cup and smash it in sorrow. THATS REALITY.

Do we really SEE what we see?

I was working in the darkroom, or the 'lab' as I like to call it today. I had just finished shooting several roles of TRI-X, a film manufactured by the Kodak Company (yes, film is still alive). This is a black and white stock, and I started to look at my images as they developed. Yes, indeed -- the smell was good, it smelt well. I had taken several shots of my friend Kimoko wearing a furry shawl. The images, while definitely artistic, featured some minor nudity. Nothing gross at all folks, nothing gross. One of her nipples had been exposed. I thought to myself -- why does god paint parts of us different shades? It got the wheels inside my head turning. I thought 'while this photo is black and white, what if I added some color -- of my own? I took out a box of photocrayons and started adding a vibrant ruby red to different areas, such as the lips -- a part of the body that is quite unique. The end result was a unique, totally original and inspiring peice that fused black and white class, with touches of color -- splashes if you will. Just think, what if god was one of us? Thats how I felt. As artists, we have a responsibility to challange oneselves to push oneselves into deeper and more intense areas. What if I ran into Mark Twain today? I would ask him 'hey buddy, how is Tom Sawyer?" He would get it, but everyone around us would be confused. This is because you aren't cultured people. Tom Sawyer is from a book Twain wrote called 'Huck Fin', very rad indeed. I'm suprised how many of yo out there don't understand common literature. So, if you want to put down your Starbuck$ drinks and McDonald$ soda pops for one minute, maybe you can discover a little lost treasure called ... life. Yah heard?

WORDZ@PLAY SERIES

This is my newest series. it's a play on words, or as some people say 'le play'. It's from a new series of mine titled 'WORDZ@PLAY'. Life is like that. So many curators are clammoring to get my stuff on their walls. There is so much crud out there, and my stuff is fresh. So many so called artists don't understand, have lightmeter will travel. Take a look at this image, and don't be superficial -- reach into your inner self and FIND the meaning.

Life is a delicate egg. If you think about it. It's very delicate. Life is the inside of an egg. I just read on another blog that I was not all that. I disagree. According to Websters Dictionary "All Of That" is un-defined, it's slang, yo. I don't follow Webster, fuck him. I follow my own drummers beat, the beat of my heart. Maybe YOU should do the same before you judge me. Last time I checked the big man upstairs was still up there chillin out with angels and what not, and you just driving around in your Vdubba drinkin on 32oz of soda pop, spending rad dollas. According to My Dictionary, the one I will be publishing in late 2007 -- "All That" means "The best you can be. A brightness that is inside you. A good person." Maybe the world should hear my drummer sooner rather than later, look out for my story. You will never be the same again. Am I sad right now? yea. I am. I'm just here, I feel like Marlon Brando after he made Waterfront the movie. I feel like, pent up -- as an actor, and as an artist. yeah, I take photos -- but I also act, thats for me, thats for me....

Right now in Hollywood...

According to 'those in the know' the people in Hollywood, or as my grandpa used to say 'Hollyweird' (funny because it is a common perception that many people in "La La" are 'crazy", thus the 'weird' instead of wood, feel me?) are working on chapter one of the filmic retelling of my life, my love, my self. For those of you who follow this blog, thanks. It's all good, and this is where we at right now. I was recently chilling at my crib spot, and I started to think about my camera. I shoot something called 'Film', it's different than these cell phone camz that people are taking pictures with these days. Most so called pros are using cell phone camz, digital shitz, and I'm using a NIKON f2. These so called artist shooting this digital shat can basically go and find themselves a copy of 'THE ARTIST AS A YOUNG MAN' and read that, then they will see what TRUE ART IS. Dude, life is not obtained via "ONES AND ZEROS" that is computer talk, it is documented using a little thing called light, and dark. The emulsion is where it's at, and when I put a slammin Nikkor lens on my F2, I start taking pictures and the world essentially crumbles at my feet. Think about that tomorrow as you're eating your POP TARTS and drinking your so called MILK.

Another Day, Another Click: This Is MY Story, pt 1.

For those who haven't been blessed by my work, I have something to tell you : get off ya ass! Thats right. This is my newest bio, part one.

Photography is the nurturing essence of life. I first stepped behind a lens when I was five, I soon learned that in order to keep living, I had to keep 'clicking'. With my lens, I delicately painted with light. Learning that light and dark = the creation of images, I poised my point and shoot, and shot what I saw. Anyone who saw my images told me I was gifted, that I understood something on a deeper level. I started collecting cameras, and anything I could get my hands on that related to camz. I spent my young childhood taking photographs, until I met a little enemy by the name of 'self doubt'. Self doubt said to me 'Troy you don't take pictures anymore, you gotta enter the real world. High School -- only nerds snap pics!". I said 'Self Doubt, you right...you right", I took it to heart. I put my cameras in a brown cardboard box, taped it up and hid it in the garage -- I can still smell the plastic of my Fuji 1kmx-091, and I swear it was crying.

I entered high school with my eyes on the prize. I was budding, becoming a man. I was known for riding a skateboard in a handstand position, something true and rare to this day. I wanted to be a model, I knew what it was like to be one with the camera. Chess King whispered my name.I started to have a charisma, and that gave me the ability to find my true, my one and only, angel. Her name was Sharon, and she was the equivilant of golden lambs wool, essential, pure, a beauty beyond compare. She was a cheerleader -- go figure, me and a cheerleader. It was true. I watched her practice with her girls, I remember her hair and bust bouncing up and down as she kicked her sensual legs, and flexed her sensual leg muscles. When our eyes met, it was like a fire had connected us -- a fire that sparked with glimmering saphire, the essence of life.

Light Meter Chain

Hey yo,

Today I started a project, wherein a took a chain from Home Depot, a heavy Chain -- something like my main man Treach from Naughty By Nature would wear. I took my lightmeter, totally bangin' Sekonic 308-B II and drilled a hole through it using an old fashion hand crank drill (my mother always told me). I fashioned a hook, and hung the Sekto from the chain around my neck, shit is swinging back and fourth. I feel empowered by this, nobody else would have tha cajones to rock a Sekonic 308 N II from his neck peice, crazy.

Sharon Is An Angel.

Sharon is a beautiful angel. When God made earth, he bestowed it with her, golden hair of grey, beautiful skin -- sensual. I still think of her. She reminds me of how I imagine Jesus would see Mary Magdelaine, both of them are very important in the scheme of things. I often wonder what life would be like from the wings of angels, then I think, I had an angel -- but she slipped away...